im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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