watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
