trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
