marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Randomize
