not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
