i think my tv is drunk
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
