My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
