i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
