i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
