We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
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