Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
