chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
