if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
