so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Randomize
