Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
