She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
