Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
