1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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