my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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