you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
