god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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