Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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