I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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