so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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