Banned from zoo.
Again?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
