Whod you bang
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
a search helicopter?!
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
