you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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