She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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