there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
