That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
Randomize