We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
This house was built for laser tag.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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