yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
