i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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