Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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