pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
