he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
