woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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