Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Randomize
