Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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