no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
