there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
