Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
