But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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