I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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