I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
