we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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