People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
