You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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