just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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