nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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