Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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