That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
We are all done wearing pants today
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
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