So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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