guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
