somebody snuck up and got me drunk
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
