it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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