Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
