I'm drive I can fine osifer
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
