What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
