I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize