at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize
