he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
