life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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