you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize