I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Randomize
