Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
