you guys were way drunker than both of me
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I can't turn off my feet"
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
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