I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
