i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize