You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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